Cheapass Japanese Safari

My intention in this post is to send a cyber shout out to a cherished friend who recently had a really bad day at work (pause for understatement effect....). Don't worry Rubbin'-is-Racin' (from here on in the post I will refer to you as RiR for short), I am sure that this will soon become a cool story that you will tell your babies, or those two older gentlemen that I can't believe are the same two lifejacket-clad rascals I knew before, creating an even more legendary RiR persona than previously revered. Cowboy hats off to you sir. This post, in case you couldn't tell from the title, is for you. I will here outline my advice for a Cheapass Japanese Safari.

Step 1: Because this is a cheapass safari, buy yourself an all-day subway/bus pass that allows you unlimited access to all public transit in the city for the bargain price of 1000 Yen. Note: these are only available on weekends and holidays so be sure to plan the safari accordingly.

Exiting the train armed with my all-day-card.


Step 2: Use your free gmail account to send invitations out to a bunch of cool friends. Safari's are always more fun with wing men.

Step 3: Arrive at the bus station, ready to use your cheap all-day-subway/bus-card and realize that your safari guide (you all know who he is) didn't check the bus schedule and there are no Sunday buses running to the park golf course that your friends will meet you at.

Step 3.1: Modify step 3 and instead take a taxi to the park golf course. Not as cheapass as the original plan, but you don't want to be late for the antics.

Plan B - take a taxi.


Step 4: Rent clubs, balls, buy beer from the vending machine at the bottom of the course and hit the links (LOVE the fact that there is always reasonably priced beer for sale in vending machines everywhere you go - no need to plan in advance or carry a cumbersome cooler). Incidentally this particular safari took place at Bankei Ski Hill's park golf course where there are 36 holes, loads of vending machines, BBQ tables for yaki-niku and way too much fun.

The top of the course at Bankei.
Don't be afraid to show your affection for the beer vending machines.



Step 5: While killing time waiting for the oji-san (=old men) 4-some ahead of you to clear the fairway, rock out to some air guitar (note our safari guide's shadow in the photo, he is rockin' out too). RiR - you have to find a way to incorporate air guitar in your physical therapy routine! Talk to your doc, get creative.

AIR GUITAR!!

Step 6: Take some time to enjoy local wildlife viewing, this is a safari after all. Unfortunately it is also Japan so wildlife takes a bit of effort to find.... you will have to look hard!

Follow the arrow to see the bird of prey we spotted.


Step 7: After a fun-filled game of park golf and pops, soak in some local culture, but be careful to mind local customs and beliefs. In Japan gambling is illegal and frowned upon, so spend the afternoon at the horse track. I have no idea how they get around the "gambling is illegal" bit, but the kid and family friendly amusement park in the center of the racetrack may have something to do with it. Don't forget to bring the picnic basket and the children for some solid family-time at the ponies.

The Sapporo Race Track.

The family park in the center for the track.

No need to shoot the former cup winners, instead they can retire and provide expensive rides for the kiddies in the family park.

Step 8: End the day with a local meal at one of the city's finest, inexpensive restaurants, Mohan Dish Indian Curry House. This place offers the absolute best in non-Japanese food. Gut yourself with tasty and buttery nan bread baked in their real tandoori oven, and enjoy any of their 36 delicious Indian curries with it.

And that is it, your foolproof plan for a Cheapass Japanese Safari. Get on the physical therapy and listen to your doctor RiR, cuz the next Cheapass Safari plan will end with patio pops at your new casa when we return from Japan and you better be ready to be our fearless guide!
Here's lookin' at you RiR!